Tips to Apply
Summary : Great little post that can make you feel a lot less worried about bad parenting
If you are asking yourself if bad parenting has damaged your children, chances are you are feeling guilty about decisions you have made or discipline you have failed to apply. Your judgment of whether your methods as a parent are effective or not may depend more on what others have said to you rather than on your own assessment or how your kids actually feel.
Studies have shown that poor parents can damage the mental development of children and can have long-lasting effects throughout their life. However, there are many adults who have been parented badly in their early years, yet have grown to be productive and successful members of society. Many of these people have had to work extra hard to overcome their parent’s mistakes, but they have done it and turned their lives around.
What Types of Actions can be Categorized as Bad Parenting?
Here’s a few of the most damaging parenting traits, so see if you find yourself doing these things regularly…
One of the most damaging things you can do to your children is to be inconsistent. When you are inconsistent they live with the uncertainty of how you will react to their actions. One day they will do something naughty and you will laugh at them, but the next day you will react angrily and punish them. This confuses a child and blurs the lines of rules you have set, because they don’t understand why you change so readily.
Another area of inconsistency can often be in the consequences children receive. Even if you consistently punish something, you need to be consistent in the penalty. It is no good punishing them sometimes by sending them to their room, when another time they do the same thing you withhold their favorite candy. Learn to be consistent in your discipline, and avoid long term problems in parenting a child.
2. Conditional Love
Many children feel their parents only love them if they are well behaved or doing things to please them, and this damaging feeling can stay with the child throughout their life.
Your child needs to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you love them, no matter what they do. You might get angry at them, you might be disappointed, but they have to know that your love is beyond question.
Bringing up a child is never easy and the fact is that, even as a loving, caring parent, you are going to make mistakes because on one is perfect and there are always more skills that you can learn. Yet you are still the best chance your child has of growing up and being a successful member of society, so don’t concentrate on the mistakes but instead, make the time to concentrate on consistently improving your skills as a parent. Listen to them, show them appreciation when their behaviour is especially good, and watch your kids develop into adults you will enjoy your entire life.