If you are single and have kids you will realize that there are issues with single parent families. All families have issues, but in single parent families these issues can be magnified or minified, depending on the parent involved and a number of other factors.
Facing the facts is an important aspect of improving your situation as a single parent. Many families suggest that in a lot of cases being involved in a single parent family is preferable to a dual parent situation, especially if the previous arrangement was abusive.
All families have thing they need to work through, and the issues with single parent families are in many ways no different to two parent families. Of course, because you are a single parent, there are some pressures that your family will face which are unique to your situation, and here are a few of those you must think about…
Single Parent family Issues to Consider
Families need rules, and single parent families will experience issues with regards the application of these rules. Having only one parent at the helm means that rules are made with less people involved, and you need to make rule in consultation with your kids. Set up rules and attach a consequence to them that is fair and reasonable in your children’s eyes.
One of the real issues of single parent families is that it is harder to apply consistent discipline because you cannot share the load. This means you need to be on your game every day, and sometimes it just gets hard to be that consistent. Add to this the very real issue that your ex may be undermining your efforts at discipline and you may have a touchy, difficult and painful situation on your hands.
Many children feel guilt at the demise of the parental relationship, and you need to be very clear about what has happened. Kids need to not feel guilt at something that is really between two adults, and they must not be used as a pawn in an adult war!
Favoring one child over the other is not going to result in a good outcome. Fighting and over-compensation to become the child’s favorite parent is similarly going to create problems and issues that your single parent family is better off without! So don’t strive to be the favorite parent, and always try and treat your children with impartiality.
Children are masters at this, and very often so are single parents. If you want a healthy relationship and if you want to avoid alienating issues with single parent families, ask or tell your children straight out what you expect from them, and avoid trying to bribe and manipulate then to get what you want. In the same way, don’t let them manipulate you with statements like, “Well dad lets me do it!”
Above all, always love your children unconditionally, whether they are obedient or not, whether they are successful or not and whatever they say or do to you. If you are hurting as a single, chances are they hurt as well, and hurt people hurt people! So if they lash out at you, love them back and you will find that the anger drops away!
There will always be issues with single parent families, just as there will always be issues with any family, but a wise parent will work to minimize these issues.