It is well recognized that single parent families affect children, but it can work in both a positive and a negative way. On the TV Talk Shows, you will see all of the negative effects, but there are some positives that can make single parent families a positive experience for a child.
One positive way in which single parent families affect children is in the area of time. Without the added distraction of a partner, many single parents choose to devote themselves to their children rather than spending time with their partner.
For children, time is an important way of saying, “I love you!” If you never spend any quality time with your children, they begin to feel that you are ignoring them and are more interested in your own life than in theirs. Many single moms I know love having girl’s nights with their kids, enjoying movies and popcorn or pamper nights in a way they simply would not pursue if the dad was around.
One Hidden Positive Affect on Children of Single Parent Families
One of the hidden positives ways that Single Parent Families Affect Children is if the other partner is abusive. Many women feel they need to stay with an abusive husband for the kids, to keep the family together, but most often the children are much better serving in a single parent family, away from the abuse of the ex-partner.
One Hidden Negative Affect on Children of Single Parent Families
Families were designed to have two parents, and both men and women can bring positives to the equation. One of the hidden negative ways that Single Parent Families affect children is in the lack of a positive role model. Many single moms find that their children have real difficulty relating to and trusting men because their dad is either absent or has been negative in the past.
One of the Worst Negatives is this…
When children are used by each parent as pawns in an adult game! When you separate from your ex, it is very tempting to use the kids as leverage to attain what you want from the ex-partner. This places the children in a difficult and awkward position, and it also places the power in your family into their hands.
This difficult position is a huge way in which Single Parent Families affect children, and it can affect every aspect of their lives. Kids are also skilled in being able to turn this to their advantage, playing one parent off against the other, so for the child this becomes an awkward, pressured situation, but also a tool to get what they want.
So if you are leading Single Parent Families, make sure you come to an agreement with your ex-partner about not using the children to manipulate each other, and about being careful that the children do not use you!
You can decide whether your single parent family is going to be a force for the negative, or a great and positive experience for your children. If your ex is behaving badly towards you, you cannot control what they say and do, but you can control how you react. Always make sure your actions are full of understanding, grace and strength instead of reacting to what the other party does.
And above all, believe and live the mantra that Single Parent Families Affect Children in a positive way, and that you as a single parent can make positives happen every single day for your children!