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Parenting skills for singles deals with the unique challenges you face as a single mom or dad, and the parenting skills you need and can apply immediately in your family.

How to Help Single Parent Families Headed by Women Succeed!

How to Help Single Parent Families Headed by Women Succeed!

There seems to be some opinion in society that single parent families headed by women are doomed to failure, but that is not only untrue it is offensive to a huge number of amazing moms who are becoming incredible, productive and successful parents on their own!   Don’t Stereotype Single Parent Families Headed by Women!   To head up a family alone is a challenge, particularly so if you are a woman who is holding down a job to provide for the family.  Many of these incredible new parents are very young, and statistics show that 8 out of 10 of the fathers do not stay in a relationship with the mom, so many of these young girls are doing it alone with their child.   Yet most of these girls do not fit the stereotype.  They are not irresponsible, they do love their child and do not leave their babies at home to go out and party.  Their kids are not totally out of control!  For the majority of these parents, they take up the challenge to become great moms and rise to the occasion, putting their lives and dreams on hold.  In fact, fewer than 10% of them will ever graduate college because they put parenting first!   Another challenge faced by single parent families headed by women is that they must make all the major decisions alone.  They have to be both father and mother to their children, and they have to cope alone with difficult tasks like disciplining and encouraging their kids.  Do they get it right all the time?  Of course not, but many couples make mistakes too.  The tragedy is that, without a marriage partner, society tends to be harsher on these people in nearly every country and society, even though we often lack ...

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Struggles with Single Parent Families and Shared Custody

Struggles with Single Parent Families and Shared Custody

There are many struggles with single parent families which are unique, especially if the estranged mom or dad is still in the picture! Having two parents in a family gives them the opportunity to share the load and the burden together, and when things get too much you have the opportunity to sit and talk with someone who understands your situation. For single moms or dads this is not the case. Key Struggles with Single Parent Families and Shared Custody   One of the key problems has to do with shared custody, because sometimes your ex-partner is not going to share the same values and concerns that you have. In many cases, the kids are used as a pawn in an elaborate family game where parents try to use each child to attack their former partner. This is common behavior but it is very unfair on the kids and also on the adults. If you are parenting your family and want to do a great job despite the separation, here are some key struggles with single parent families and shared custody that you need to consider… Different values It is common in shared custody that each of the parents have different values when it comes to bringing up the family. One might be stronger on discipline while the other is very lax, or one might prefer junk food where the other insists on eating healthy.  Financial differences can also be a source of friction. These differences can take a happy family and cause them to turn on each other, and the pressure is greater if you are estranged.  The best advice is to sit with your ex-partner, decide to help one another in the family and talk each family problem through, so that even if you don’t get on well ...

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Facing the Key Issues with Single Parent Families

Facing the Key Issues with Single Parent Families

If you are single and have kids you will realize that there are issues with single parent families.  All families have issues, but in single parent families these issues can be magnified or minified, depending on the parent involved and a number of other factors.   Facing the facts is an important aspect of improving your situation as a single parent. Many families suggest that in a lot of cases being involved in a single parent family is preferable to a dual parent situation, especially if the previous arrangement was abusive.   All families have thing they need to work through, and the issues with single parent families are in many ways no different to two parent families.  Of course, because you are a single parent, there are some pressures that your family will face which are unique to your situation, and here are a few of those you must think about…   Single Parent family Issues to Consider   Rules Families need rules, and single parent families will experience issues with regards the application of these rules.  Having only one parent at the helm means that rules are made with less people involved, and you need to make rule in consultation with your kids.  Set up rules and attach a consequence to them that is fair and reasonable in your children’s eyes.   Discipline One of the real issues of single parent families is that it is harder to apply consistent discipline because you cannot share the load.  This means you need to be on your game every day, and sometimes it just gets hard to be that consistent.  Add to this the very real issue that your ex may be undermining your efforts at discipline and you may have a touchy, difficult and painful situation on your hands. ...

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How do Single Parent Families Affect Children?

How do Single Parent Families Affect Children?

It is well recognized that single parent families affect children, but it can work in both a positive and a negative way.  On the TV Talk Shows, you will see all of the negative effects, but there are some positives that can make single parent families a positive experience for a child.   One positive way in which single parent families affect children is in the area of time.  Without the added distraction of a partner, many single parents choose to devote themselves to their children rather than spending time with their partner.   For children, time is an important way of saying, “I love you!”  If you never spend any quality time with your children, they begin to feel that you are ignoring them and are more interested in your own life than in theirs.  Many single moms I know love having girl’s nights with their kids, enjoying movies and popcorn or pamper nights in a way they simply would not pursue if the dad was around.   One Hidden Positive Affect on Children of Single Parent Families   One of the hidden positives ways that Single Parent Families Affect Children is if the other partner is abusive.  Many women feel they need to stay with an abusive husband for the kids, to keep the family together, but most often the children are much better serving in a single parent family, away from the abuse of the ex-partner.   One Hidden Negative Affect on Children of Single Parent Families   Families were designed to have two parents, and both men and women can bring positives to the equation.  One of the hidden negative ways that Single Parent Families affect children is in the lack of a positive role model.  Many single moms find that their children have real difficulty relating ...

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Top Ten Ways of Facing Parenting Issues with Children

Top Ten Ways of Facing Parenting Issues with Children

If you are facing parenting issues with children you probably need to stop, take a good look at yourself and how you manage the children, and see if you are making wise decisions.   Hindsight is always 20/20 vision and this is especially true for parenting issues with children.  It is easier to look back on a situation with your kids and know exactly what you should have said and should not have said, but in the heat of the moment parenting becomes a much more difficult issue!   If you are facing parenting issues with your children, think about these ideas…   1. Talk to Them Make sure you keep lines of communication open.  Talking to your kids can make all the difference, especially when explaining the reasons for disciplining them.   2. Be Strong When you make a parenting decision, don’t be easily swayed by complaints from your child.  If you make a decision, consult them but in the long run your decision should stand.   3. Big Them Up Make sure you speak positive words to your children, especially in front of others.  Never complain about them to others in their presence because it is embarrassing and will build resentment to your parenting.   4. Be Fair In all parenting issues with children you need to be perceived as fair, not unreasonable or petty.   5. Make Consequences Just Make sure that the consequences for disobedience are just and in proportion to the offence.  Consequences should also alight with the offence, so staying out after curfew for example is best deal with by grounding for a week rather than the removal of another privilege.   6. Be Consistent The biggest issue parenting children is in the area of consistency.  You need to follow through every single time, ...

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Children and Divorce: A Top Ten Survival Guide

Children and Divorce: A Top Ten Survival Guide

Children and Divorce are a potent mix.  The pain that you go through during your divorce is reflected and sometimes amplified for your children.  Most often they have no idea of exactly what has gone wrong in the relationship, and frequently they blame themselves for the resulting divorce.   So how can you love your children and divorce their mom or dad at the same time?  The fact is, relationships break down from time to time and children suffer as much as adults, especially if they have a good relationship with the ex.   All through the divorce you will experience pain, and so will the children, but our Top Ten survival guide can help both you and the kids survive this difficult time…   Children and Divorce: Our Top Ten Survival Guide… 1. Assure them the Divorce is Not Their Fault! They are your children and divorce is not their fault.  Explain that it is a decision that mom and dad have made, and although it affects them, it is not their fault, and there is nothing they can do directly to repair the relationship.  What’s done is done, and you all have to do the best you can dealing with the fallout! 2. Maintain Routine Routine is a friend to your children, so as much as you can keep them in a familiar routine.  There will be times you have to vary it, especially when trying to fit visitation in, but make sure they are able to continue in what they see as important in their lives, even after school things like football or dance classes. 3. Careful What you Say As tempting as it is to speak badly of your ex, you need to stop doing this.  Always speak kindly of them, because throwing mud is ground ...

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Top Ten Ways Single Parent Families Can be Fun

Top Ten Ways Single Parent Families Can be Fun

Single parent families are common these days, but often they are more difficult to manage than two parent families, especially after separation, and especially if the separation has been a nasty one.   Many single parents unwittingly use their children as pawns in a tug-or-war between the two parents, and this causes a lot of friction not only between the adults, but also among the children.  Often the relationship between family members is tense and trust is reduced because of this, but it does not have to be this way.   Single Parent Families can be fun, and here’s our Top Ten Ways to Achieve This…   1. Don’t Attack your Ex Attacking your ex actually hurts your children, so try to speak well of the ex-partner as much as you can.  If they speak ill of you, then try to refrain from telling your kids horrible things about the ex, because over time they will figure out who is the honest one and who is throwing mud! 2. Make Time for your Children Spending time with them at whatever is important to them is the ultimate act of love that they will understand. Make time to spend with them, even if it costs you time and money, because it says “I love you and you are important to me!” 3. Be Slow to Start Dating Again Dating after a break up is tricky enough, let alone if children are involved.  Your children feel isolated and threatened by another person coming on the scene, especially if they have kids too.  Be slow to start dating again, and make wise decision with regards who is coming into your life, and your children’s lives! 4. Do Something Crazy! Why be the boring parent?  Your single parent family should be a place of ...

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Top Ten Tips on How to Parent after a Breakup

Top Ten Tips on How to Parent after a Breakup

If you have children and have experienced a break up you may be wondering how to parent after the event.  Breakups are frequently messy and emotional affairs, and it is often hard to be there for your kids in their hour of need, especially when you are hurting so badly yourself. Learning how to parent through a breakup can soften the blow of the separation for your children, and surprisingly even for yourself. So here’s out Top Ten of coping with your breakup, and how to parent your children through it! 1. Speak to Each Child Individually While you can talk to all of them together, put some special time aside for each one individually. 2. Take into Account their Ages Obviously younger children will have less of an understanding of what a breakup is about compared to teenagers.  Try to convey the truth of what has happening in the simplest way possible, and ensure they understand. 3. Let the Know the Breakup is Not Their Fault Kids naturally blame themselves for a breakdown in the family and wonder what they could have done to prevent it.  Make sure they understand that this is between you and your ex, and they may have had a bearing on your decision, but certainly were not the root cause of the breakup. 4. Tell Them they are Unconditionally Loved by Both Parents Children need to know that they are unconditionally loved, no matter what they do, what they say and no matter what the state of the relationship between the parents.  Convey that your love for them and your partner’s love for them is not dependent on the parental relationship, and although clearly this will affect the way the parent child relationship works, it does not change how much they are loved. 5. ...

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Single Moms: Top Ten Keys to Success in the 21st Century

Single Moms: Top Ten Keys to Success in the 21st Century

Single moms can make it as parents and they can produce healthy, happy, successful children.  It is not easy being both parents for your kids, but it is possible especially when you apply these 10 Keys to success for single moms in the 21st Century.   1. Seek Support Most single moms find that they have to seek support, and there is no shame in doing this.  It might be close family, it might be close friends, or it might be a church group or single moms support group.  Whatever it takes, find and use some form of support. 2. Seek Help It is not enough to seek support, or a shoulder to cry on when things get tough, you need to also seek help.  Someone to mind the kids so you can have a break, or someone to drive them to football practice.  Don’t try and do everything by yourself. 3. Love your Kids I know you feel that you love them, but true love is not just a feeling it is a life-long commitment.  Tell them you love them, and also show them you love them by putting their needs before yours, and giving up what you want to serve them.  Yes, this includes dating and your choice of partner.  Let your kids be the hub of your existence, especially when they are young. Love is not just a feeling, it is what you say and how you treat them, so give your children unconditional love! 4. Avoid the Separation Tug-of-War Divorce is horrible, even if it is amicable.  Your children will feel that somehow they caused this.  There is an inevitable tug-of-war between the estranged couples, and only you can change this.  Don’t try and out buy your ex-partner’s attempts to win their love.  Believe me, the ...

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Parenting Skills 101 for Dummies

Parenting Skills 101 for Dummies

Parenting skills 101 refers to the basics of being parents, and you might think that most people know the basics.  However, in the heat of the moment even the basic knowledge we have about good parenting can go out the window, so whether you are a new or experienced parent, going over the basics is always going to be a good idea! With this in mind, here’s a Top Ten that you will do well to go over once again. The Top 10 Parenting Skills 101   1.    Provide Unconditional Love Loving your children is easy when they are good and a bit harder when they are disobedient, stubborn or badly behaved.  Yet if the kids know your affection is independent of their failings they will feel secure and strangely, their behavior will often improve. 2.    Be a Leader Children don’t need you to be a friend or a buddy, and they certainly don’t need to parent you!  What they need from you, especially early in life, is for you to lead, direct and guide them, so step up to the mark and be a true, decisive yet loving leader for your children. 3.    Provide Structure You might be a free spirit, and you might want that for your children, but kids need and even crave structure.  They need to know what is right and what is wrong, so set this out clearly for them and let them learn from their mistakes.  Our society functions on rules, and they need to learn them to be a part of our society. In the same way that you need road rules to drive effectively, so you need life rules to live effectively. Within that structure their freedom will blossom. 4.    Teach Them Consequences Children need to know that whatever they do, good ...

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