Tag Archives: parenting advice

Good Parenting Techniques You Can Use Immediately!

Parenting techniquesWhile there are quite a few good parenting techniques that you can learn, the most necessary thing is to start employing them. You most likely are overwhelmed with many other philosophies and ideas, but being a good parent concerns actually utilizing those tips, and that’s what I want to consider now.

Good parenting takes not simply techniques and theories, so here are three practical tasks you can start doing now that will improve the way you parent your son or daughter.

1.    Spend Time with Your Kids

If you would like to show your kids that you love them, spending time is one of the most important things you can do. Good parenting is about making time for your kids, on their terms instead of yours. So forcing them to go with you shopping is not exactly quality time, but taking them to the movies or their favourite restaurant is.

2.    Know Where They Are

While we’re not promoting stalking your child, as a responsible parent you have to know where your children are, what they are doing and who they are doing it with. Letting your children get out of control is not good parenting.

3.    Screen Their Screens!

Keeping tab on your child screen activity is part of modern parenting. Whether it is the web, on-line games, take sting or DVDs, guarantee that what they are watching and playing fits with your view of life, and limit them to around a couple of hours a day of screen based recreation.

Learning any strategy is useless unless you applied, and in the case of your children it is more significant than ever. We have many methods to give out on our website, and it’s all free, so drop by for good parenting techniques you may apply right now.

The Trials of Single Parent Fathers

Single parent fathers Single parent fathers are under a different type of pressure to the average father. Instead of being able to share the load of parenting, single parent fathers often have to stand alone, and frequently they are in conflict with the estranged mother of the children.

Most fathers have to work to earn income and support their families. If a father’s single, coordinating work time and time with the children is often a more difficult task than for a married man, because when they have the kids there is often no one to help them share responsibilities.

Yet many single dads find that they get to spend better quality time with their children, perhaps because they have limited time available and they have decided to make the most of it. Many dads take real delight in prioritizing their family time, and if they are wise they will realize that their time with their children has to take precedence over work and other social activities.

There are several difficulties faced by fathers who are Ron their own. In addition to 2 limited opportunities and time with their children, they often have a rocky or difficult relationship with the mother of the kids, and all that this entails for parenting. As the kids grow older, they learn to exploit the differences in conflict that occurs between the estranged parents, playing mom off against dad to get their own way.

Add to this the fact that a father parenting on their own also has to balance in a work schedule and some sort of a social life, and you really can begin to understand the unique difficulties faced by single parent fathers. This situation is made even more difficult if the guy has decided to start dating again, because many times their children will react to what they perceive to be a “replacement mom”.

Yet for all these trials and difficulties, there are also unique opportunities present for a dad who is prepared to look for them, and prepared to change his lifestyle and priorities. They have the opportunity to make much of the time spent with their children special, and many single dads dote on the children and delight in spoiling them!

When you are a father trying to care for your children alone either full-time or part-time, you definitely face more difficulties than does a married man. You simply cannot live your life the way other single men do, and many of the things you may want to do in business or socially you will find restricted by the presence of your children. However, you need to balance the trials of this style of parenting off against the blessings and advantages that may present .

Single parent fathers do not have an easy task, but they can have a rewarding task that will not be recognized until their children mature and become adults themselves.

Single parent fathers

The Single Parent Families Lifestyle

single parent families lifestyleThe single parent families lifestyle is a unique and interesting one. This is especially true in the case of shared custody, because it is almost like the children are living a double life.  This lifestyle is not easy for adults, let alone for a child, so the pressures on single parent families and their lifestyle is often greater than on other families, even if both parties love the kids.

 

The Duality of the Single Parent Families Lifestyle

 

Living completely different lives with mom or dad during the week is taxing on everyone, especially on the child.  Yet it is a lifestyle that has to be faced if you truly love them, and you need to do the best for your child and the family.

 

Here are three areas you can work on to try and minimize the potentially destructive nature of the single parent families lifestyle

 

Divide and Conquer Parents

Kids are great at doing this, especially in a messy or nasty separation situations, and this can be a difficult lifestyle to deal with.  Kids are experts at dividing and conquering the parents even in regular families, playing mom off against dad to get what they want.  This is even more extreme for separated parents because the parents are already divided!

 

The solution: Start communicating with your ex and present a united front on the key issues.  If you can’t stand each other, it’s time to make a decision that you love the kids enough to put them first and at least start texting!  If you communicate you can make sure that the child is not playing one of you off against the other and avoid a tragedy people and unaware couples in your situation face daily!

 

Disciplining verses Fun

Another unique single parent families lifestyle trait is when one just has fun while the other gets the reputation of being the discipline enforcer.  This can happen even in marriage or if couples stay together, so how much more for you.  But type of arrangement is doomed, so again, start talking to your ex and share both the load and the good times.  You may not love them and the relationship may be over but if you love your offspring it is time to do it for them!  And if you are the fun one you may think you are doing well, but in the important issues your son or daughter will turn to the other adult, so beware of this and share the load!

 

 Inconsistent Consistency

Once again communication is the key.  You need to make sure that your rules are consistent between the two households.  They also have to be consistent, so that the child knows if they do something at either house, the consequences will be the same.  If this doesn’t happen, you will find that the kids take advantage of this and run riot at one of the homes.

 

So, communicating with your ex-partner is the key, and forming a united front on the big issues is essential if your kids are to do well in life.  Failure to address these will result in you seeing all the bad aspects of the single parent families lifestyle in your sons and daughters as they grow up, and who wants that!

Children and Divorce: A Top Ten Survival Guide

Children and DivorceChildren and Divorce are a potent mix.  The pain that you go through during your divorce is reflected and sometimes amplified for your children.  Most often they have no idea of exactly what has gone wrong in the relationship, and frequently they blame themselves for the resulting divorce.

 

So how can you love your children and divorce their mom or dad at the same time?  The fact is, relationships break down from time to time and children suffer as much as adults, especially if they have a good relationship with the ex.

 

All through the divorce you will experience pain, and so will the children, but our Top Ten survival guide can help both you and the kids survive this difficult time…

 

Children and Divorce: Our Top Ten Survival Guide…

1. Assure them the Divorce is Not Their Fault!

They are your children and divorce is not their fault.  Explain that it is a decision that mom and dad have made, and although it affects them, it is not their fault, and there is nothing they can do directly to repair the relationship.  What’s done is done, and you all have to do the best you can dealing with the fallout!

2. Maintain Routine

Routine is a friend to your children, so as much as you can keep them in a familiar routine.  There will be times you have to vary it, especially when trying to fit visitation in, but make sure they are able to continue in what they see as important in their lives, even after school things like football or dance classes.

3. Careful What you Say

As tempting as it is to speak badly of your ex, you need to stop doing this.  Always speak kindly of them, because throwing mud is ground lost, and you can turn your children against you if you speak negatively.

4. Be Transparent

As much as you think the children will understand, speak openly and honestly about your reasons for the separation.  Your children deserve to know the truth about the divorce.

5. Don’t Make the Children Choose Mom or Dad

Having to choose between the two parents places your children in an uncomfortable position, so avoid forcing them to choose, especially pressuring them into choosing you.  When dividing their time, try to keep it even and fair between the two of you. If they don’t choose your way, let them live with their decision and never guilt trip them.  Don’t take it personally, but rather tell them that you love them no matter what thye do or decide.

6. Spend Time with Them

Children and divorce equals pain and loneliness, so the best way for you to show your love for your kids is to spend time with them.  Take them out for an ice-cream, to dinner or for a walk in a park, or have a great night at home with a movie and popcorn!

7. Take Time for Yourself

Put the kids first, sure, but remember in all of this you are also in pain, so take some time for yourself.  Treat yourself occasionally, enjoy friends or just stare at the stars for an hour one night.  Whatever you do you need to protect both your children and yourself during this divorce.

8. Minimize Drama with the Ex

Divorce can be tense, and your children feel the tension.  Talk to your ex-partner and even if you hate one another, agree to speak well of each other especially in front of the children.  If you finish yelling at each other the children will feel the pain, so put on a happy face and control yourself!

9. Remain Positive

If you are experiencing divorce and the children are unstable and reacting, always try to remain positive.  Speak positively about your ex, yourself and especially the children themselves, because positive words build up while negativity breaks down!

10. Remain Firm about Your Decision

Children are always hopeful that you might get back together again, and you may look back with rose colored glasses on your relationship, but you need to remain firm on your decision to divorce.  Having your ex-partner sleeping over sometimes might work for you and your needs, but it will confuse the children and raise hopes of reconciliation.  Give them a firm and stable situation for their sake.

 

Using this survival guide and applying these Top Ten ideas can help you cope with the developing situation.  With the right attitude you will help your children and divorce situation.

Top 20 Funny and Profound Quotes on Parenting

quotes on parentingWhile there are many quotes on parenting across the internet, some of them I have found to be either distasteful or inappropriate, and that’s why for our website we have included our own quotes in parenting.   Some are funny, some are profound, but all of them have something that resonates with parents and the sometimes overwhelming task of bringing up children.

 

So here are our favorite Top 20 quotes on parenting

 

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. – P.J. O’Rourke

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands. – Anne Frank

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up. – Ray Romano

We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future. – President Franklin D. Roosevelt

We spend the first 12 months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up. – Phyllis Diller

We never know the love of the parent till we become parents ourselves. – Henry Ward Beecher

There really are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child. – Anne Lamott, Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year

Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them. – Bill Ayers

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. – Franklin P. Adams

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. – Dorothy Parker

If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings. – Brian Tracy

Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories. – John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester (1647-1680)

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. – James Baldwin

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. – Erma Bombeck

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. – Phyllis Diller

Your children are not your children, they come through you, but they are life itself, wanting to express itself. – Wayne Dyer

To bring up a child in the way he should go – travel that way yourself. – Josh Billings

Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society. – Benjamin Franklin

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal. – Bill Cosby

Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you. – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

 

Hopefully these quotes on parenting have made you stop what you are doing, step back from life for a moment, laugh a little and realize that parenting is the most important, most challenging and most rewarding job on the planet.  You might laugh a little, but be inspired to become the best parent you can possibly be.

 

And I trust that your parenting has been challenged by these funny and profound quotes on parenting.

Top Ten Bad Parenting Habits to Avoid (Part 3)

Bad ParentingHere is the conclusion of your series on Bad Parenting

It has been a fun, tongue in cheek look at bad parenting, but you can learn a lot from looking at how NOT to parent your child.  If you missed the previous installments, click here to Start at the first article.

8. The Screaming Match

Bad parenting most often results in a screaming match. For both parent and child, frustration and stress on the relationship are often expressed by emotions, and the most common emotion is yelling.

Screaming at your child, standing over them or poking your finger at them is rude, demeaning and closes communication with them. It lowers their respect for you and even if you scream but they fall silent, damage is being done which can last a lifetime.

Emotions are part of living in a family, and if you’ve had a particularly stressful day it’s not uncommon to feel like you want to scream. However, if you lose your temper you lose the plot, so take a breath, count to 10 and walk away until you are in control of your emotions.

Once you are calm enough, sit with your child and discuss the issue, focusing on them not on the problem. Allow them to express their emotions, but take a break if they are getting worked up. If you can calmly express the reasons for your decision without it becoming a screaming match then you have achieved a major victory.

Remember, the words you say cannot be retrieved, so take time aside to think and speak rationally and carefully to your child.

9. Criticizing Your Child

Experts tell us that criticism and verbal abuse can, like physical abuse, have a slow and negative affect on the development of children. In older kids it can cause low self-esteem and depression, and leave your kids feeling humiliated and betrayed as they grow up, oftentimes unable to maintain healthy relationships in later life.

Comparisons between siblings are some of the most damaging forms of criticism for developing children. It causes resentment between the kids and a feeling of favouritism which can negatively affect both children.

Public putdowns and shaming them in front of others can be equally as damaging. No one likes to be made to feel like a failure, so emphasizing that failure never causes good and always hurts a child.

Kids fail just like we all do at times. Instead of making negative comments in front of friends, and instead of comparing your children’s strengths and weaknesses, concentrate on building your child up, both publicly and privately.

Try to identify your child’s strengths and qualities that make sure that they feel great about these strengths. If you need to blow off steam about your child’s failings, do it alone to a trusted friend and make sure that they cannot hear you!

10. Too Much of a Good Thing

Most parents want to bless their children, but some feel that giving them everything they want is quite often not a good idea at all.

In our modern world there is a constant flow of new gadgets and fashions that every kid wants, especially as they hit the teenage years. Many parents give their children everything they ask for, and rather than their respect and love they receive venomous anger if they refuse to buy an expensive or inappropriate gadget.

Also, there is a constant stream of activities that your child can be involved in, and if you are not careful every afternoon and evening could be filled with things that your child wants to do, from tennis lessons to Karate, from guitar lessons to dance classes. Over-scheduling is a clear and present danger for the modern parent, and while the child might enjoy these activities, eventually they can give rise to tiredness, depression, headaches and declining grades.

Bad parenting gives children everything they want and finishes with miserable kids, but good parenting will choose selected activities and fashions and grant only these requests. Once again, parenting in the right way is a balancing act and wisdom and experience are your our allies.

As long as mankind has existed bad parenting has also existed. It is not an easy business trying to raise children and help them develop into successful adults, but it is among the most satisfying things you will ever do in life.

If you apply these principles and avoid these bad parenting habits, you can not only see your children mature as wonderful as successful adults, but you can also enjoy the journey with them year by year.

Parenting for Dummies: A Not-So-Dumb Top Ten

A Not so dumb guide to parentingParenting for dummies is probably a bit condescending as a title, but the purpose of this article is to strip away the mystique of being a parent.  In its purest form, parenting should be pretty straight forward, but the truth is that, in the heat of the battle with our kids, it becomes almost overwhelming!

Hence the term, “for dummies”.  I want to strip away the smoke and mirrors and get back to the basics of how you can be a great parent, in a way that anyone, including a first time novice, should be able to apply.

So here is our not-so-dumb Top Ten of Parenting for Dummies (and also smart people like you!)

1. Set Limits

Parenting starts with setting sensible limits, and attaching sensible consequences to them.  Boundaries should be put in place and this will be dependent on the age of the children.  Pick your battles, and don’t put rules in place for things that are trivial, save it for the important ones.  So have a rule in place for staying out beyond curfew, but avoid making a Federal Case of the child not brushing their teeth.

2. Set Consequences

Consequences need to make sense and be proportional.  For example a perfect consequence for staying out late would be grounding the child. Don’t set a consequence that just frustrates the child, or that is perceived as unfair or inappropriate, such as spanking a child for hitting another child.  Do not threaten consequences you will not or cannot keep to, so avoid saying things like, “If you do that again I will kill you!”

3. Follow Through

If you set a consequence, follow through every single time, or you will consider yourself a real dummy in the long run!  Even if you don’t want to, even if it inconveniences you, follow through anyway because this teaches kids that the consequences to certain actions are a sure thing and they don’t change depending on the parent’s mood.

4. Provide Structure and Routine

Children love and need structure, so parenting for dummies insists on providing routine and structure, especially when the kids are young.  Get into the habit of doing the same thing routinely, because there is great security in this for your children.  Being chaotic in your household will see you struggle, so remember that one of the great premises of parenting for dummies is that routine and structure are your friend, not your enemy!

5. Teach Them Respect

Respect is important.  Your children need to respect you and your authority as a parent, other adults especially those closest to them, and social authorities like teachers, pastors, the Police and Armed Forces.  They must also be taught to respect those with disabilities, and to always be kind and honorable towards them.

6. Teach Them Self-Discipline

As they grow, children need to take responsibility for their actions, as do the parents.  You should not be b laming others all the time for your misfortune, because this teaches the same to your kids.  If you mess up, take responsibility, say you are sorry and move on.  Also, teach your children that there are no valid excuses to not doing certain things like homework and the dishes, there are only certain consequences, most of which are unpleasant!

7. Always Speak Positive Words

Always say positive things to your child, no matter how frustrating they get.  Never speak in anger and never lose your temper.  If you are getting close, walk away and calm down before you talk to them.  Make sure you never label them with their action, so your son would not be a naughty boy but a good boy who did something naughty.

8. Invest Time

Nothing says “I love you” more to your children than spending time with them.  Play games, take them out somewhere they like, sit and read with them, and I would also advise that during dinner the TV is turned off and conversation replaces it!

9. Keep the Dreams Alive

Every child has dreams, and your job as a parent is to encourage and promote those dreams.  However, make the child choose one or at most two dreams to pursue, because each one requires an investment in time and also money.  So, they might want to play football, or surf, or dance, or do karate, or design computer games, but they cannot do all of them at once.  Let them choose, then let them pursue their dreams.

10. Love Unconditionally

Kids need to know that they are loved, no matter what they might do.  Unconditional love does not depend on your mood, or on how tired you are, or on what their actions have been.  Tell them you love them whether they get an A or a F in Maths, and whether you have had a tough day or a great day.

Apply these Top Ten Tips and watch your family dynamic change and improve.  If you have this list and do what it says, you won’t need to think about parenting for dummies, you’ll be teaching others the secret to your family success!

Top Ten Parenting Solutions for Working Moms and Dads

parenting solutionsIf you are single and working, you need to think about parenting solutions, especially if you are a full time worker.  Modern society can be very insular, but what is still true in the 21st Century is that a child is raised by a village, not an individual, and this is especially true for the single mom or dad who is working.

 

Our Top Ten Parenting Solutions can give you Insight and Ideas!

 

Here is our Top Ten of Parenting Solutions for working moms and dads, and hopefully this will help you to take control of the parenting situation.  This also colors how you see your work environment, and while all of these are not applicable to all workplaces, you may have to change your job situation for the benefit of your family.

 

1. Seek Help from Your Family or Friends

A single parent must not be an island, so look at your immediate family and friends and see if there is anyone you can trust who can share the load of caring for the children. Can you coordinate times with your mom, or with a close friend who knows and loves your children?

2. Share the Load

Pooling resources is a common and one of the most very effective parenting solutions.  If you know other single parents who are working, then you can pool your resources and coordinate times and jobs so that sometimes you mind their kids, and other times they mind yours.  It is a mutual exchange of child minding services, but again you need to be able to trust them.

3. Try to Obtain Flexible Hours at Work

Many jobs can be made flexible, and if you are a good worker your employers will be inclined to do all they can to help you, rather than lose your services.  Talk to them and see if you can coordinate around school, preschool or other time constraints.

4. Can You Work from Home?

Many jobs can be worked from home, especially in IT.  Perhaps you can make a job for yourself, but be wary of some of the “stay at home and get rich quick” internet schemes.  If you are to work from home, you need to make sure you have an area away from the kids so you can do a proper job, but as long as you have activities for the children, this can work really well.

5. Get Organized

If you are to continue to work as a single parent, you definitely need to get organized!  You do not want to work all day, only to come home to a messy house and out of control kids, do you?  So, get organized and if the children are old enough, give them chores you expect done by the time you return.  Make sure that your time at home is not all about washing and housework, but try to make time to invest in your kids.

6. Talk to your Kids

That’s right, talk to your kids!  Explain the difficulties and how you need to keep on working, and ask them for their help and support as you do it.  Even young children want to help mom or dad in their hour of need.  As you gradually give more responsibility, they will rise to the tasks knowing they are doing their bit for the family.

7. Pay for Help you Need

Child care or after school care may require payment, but it is worth it to know that your children are safe and being stimulated, not sitting like logs in front of the TV!  If you have to pay, factor the cost of this into your wages, because expensive child care might negate your work all together.

8. Make the Time Up

When you work it is time you are not spending with your children, so make the time up to them.  Nothing says you love them more than spending time with them.  You might take them out for an ice-cream, make a cake with them or even play a computer game.  Anything is OK, as long as you are spending time and interacting with your child (not just watching TV).

9. Find Time for Each Child

If you have several children, you need to spend time with them collectively and especially alone.  You might read to them in bed, or drop one to soccer while you take the other to have a treat somewhere.  Kids need time, and time you invest into their lives individually speaks volumes to them of your love for them.

10. Be Careful of the Lock Key Teenagers

Teenagers can be self-sustaining, meaning they don’t need after school care, but it comes at a price.  Be careful of the time between the end of school and when you arrive home.  What are they doing then?  Who are they with? Ask questions and make sure they are not doing things you don’t want them to do.  A recent study showed most teenager’s first sexual experience did not happen late at night, but after school, before mom or dad got home!

 

So if you are a single parent who works either part time or full-time, have a look at our Top Ten and see if you can apply these principles.  In your situation, with your family and your job, there will be parenting solutions that work!

Parenting for Teenagers in the 21st Century: Top Ten Tips

parenting for teenagersWhen thinking about parenting for teenagers the thoughts can become terrifying.  Teenagers often seem so difficult to parent, and many of the things you might have learned with younger kids seem to lose their power when it comes to parenting for teenagers.

 

So for all you worried moms and dads, here’s our Top Ten Tips about Parenting for Teenagers in the 21st Century.

 

1. Develop Trust both Ways

Trust is a 2 way street, and if you expect your teen to be true to your trust, you need to make sure you are trustworthy also.   Don’t promise them things you do not deliver, like a weekend away or a new game.

2. Teach them about Money

Managing money is something teenagers need to learn (as do we all!). Teach them early about the value of money, and delayed gratification, and teach them to save.  Also, teach them to budget, even on a small allowance.  These principles will never leave them if you do it correctly.  As well, let them experience the cost of the latest fashions and technologies, don’t just buy things for them.  They will soon learn that chasing fashion is expensive!

3. Accept that Communication is Technology

Parenting for teenagers involves coming to grips with the way they communicate, and these days this means learning some technology.  Many teens won’t talk to you directly, or will do so very reluctantly, but what they will do is text or Facebook, so start texting them to have them share openly with you.

4. Monitor Technology

Kids love technology, and hand held devices are so common now, as is social media.  However, you need to make sure that you keep an eye on their social media involvement.  Who are they meeting online, and for what purpose?  Might take a little snooping, but often teenagers are unaware of the dangers that lurk in cyberspace, so monitor it and encourage them to be open about it with you.

5. Let them follow their Interests

Teenagers have interests, and while you cannot let these overtake learning for example, encourage them to explore what interests them and to express it.  Many will choose things like dancing, music, art or computer games, and set strict limits as to the time they can do things, but encourage them in it.

6. Fashion Speaks

Teenagers speak via fashion, so while you don’t want to be the fashion police, you still need to take control in this area.  For teenagers, fashion is a way to express the group they belong to, so while you want them to belong to a group that accepts them, you don’t want them in the wrong group (like Goths or death metal)!  So, if you can, exert some control especially when they are younger over what they wear.

7. The Dating Game

Sex and dating are part of growing up, and your view on the subject is likely to be reflected in your teen.  It is not enough to say, “Don’t do what I do,” you need to model the right behavior in dating. Be very careful of times they spend alone with their peers and while you might encourage dating, don’t place temptation in front of them too often.  Talk openly about sex, and especially about honoring members of the opposite sex.  Tell them you love them regardless of any stupid decisions they might make.

8. Set Limits and Grow Confidence

Setting limits is responsible parenting for teenagers. Curfews are an important part of parenting them, and believe it or not they actually breed confidence and contentment.  Within the boundaries you set the teen can have complete confidence and freedom, so set boundaries and set consequences before they are crossed.

9. Driving you Mad!

Teenagers gaining a license and starting to drive is a scary time for most parents.  It takes a degree of trust to throw them the keys, but make sure that they also are driving responsibly especially the boys.  You could attach a GPS to their car, or perhaps get them to call in to you at scheduled times.  They need to take responsibility for their actions and any damage done, so help them to accept all sides of driving, the joy and the responsibility,

10. Take the Emotion out of Conflict

Your teen is going to let you down at some point.  Be ready for it.  Most importantly, take the emotion out of the situation and show them unconditional love, and you can save the lecture.  Giving them the big lecture achieves exactly zero with most teens, other than the rolling of eyes, so when you dish out the consequences for their actions, do so without emotion.  Avoid the screaming match at all times, because when you scream at each other, you lose.

 

So it is possible to bring your teenagers up with values and respect in the 21st century.  Apply this Top Ten and improve your parenting for teenagers today.

Single Parenting Facts

Single Parenting FactsThese single parenting facts give some insight into how single parents live, and how they cope with the complex and often overwhelming task of parenting as a single mom or dad.

Although raw facts do not convey any of the struggle or emotion of being a single parent, they can give us an insight into some of the stereotypical caricatures that have been created concerning especially single moms.  This information provides a timely insight into single parenting and how both moms and dads cope with being single and raising children.

The US Census Bureau provided these single parenting facts, and they are current as of November 2009.

  • There are approximately 13.7 million single parents in the United States, and they are responsible for raising around 28.1 million children, which represents 26% of all children in the United States under the age of 21 years old.
  • Around 84% of custodial single parents are mothers and 16% are fathers.  Of the mothers, 45% are currently divorced or separated, while 34.2% have never married at all.  Of the men, 57.8% are divorced or separated and 34.2% have never married.
  • Surprisingly 79.5% of single moms who have their children are employed, 49.8% of them full time.  For single dads who have their children, 90% are gainfully employed.
  • Another interesting single parenting fact is that only 27% of single mothers and 12.9% or single dads live in poverty.
  • Although many picture single moms as young, these single parenting facts reveal that 39.1% are in fact over the age of 40.
  • Typically a single mom is raising one child, with 54% of custodial moms raising one child from the separated parent, while 46% have two or more children with them full time.

Being a single parent is never easy, as these single parenting fact bear witness, but we should be encouraged that the typical image of single parenthood, being a young, irresponsible girl on welfare, is simply not true.

What is true is that many single parents are older, and single parent families are usually the result of marriage or relationship breakdown, not irresponsibility.  According to these facts, typically single parents are older and hold down full time jobs.  They are often successful and able to provide for their children without the help of welfare, and do a pretty good job of it too!

So if you are a single mom or dad, don’t be discouraged and don’t feel alienated because, as these single parenting facts show, you are part of a huge group of single moms and dads who can make a life for their kids!