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Young Single Mothers are Better than Their Reputation

Young Single Mothers are Better than Their Reputation

Without a doubt young single mothers have a less than stellar reputation when it comes to disciplining children and raising a family. Many people in our society look down on them, but I believe that young single mothers deserve our support, not our scorn, and that if we give them our support they can create successful families. Why are Young Single Mothers So Maligned? Young single mothers are often viewed as being “kids having kids”, and many look down on them because they assume they are promiscuous or stupid falling pregnant. However, it should be recognised that many young people are having sex, often with multiple partners, yet not all of these girls become mothers. Like most young people, girls think they are bullet proof and live the same lifestyle as everybody else, until something goes wrong and they discover that they are pregnant. Many of these girls do not abort their baby, but bravely face a future as a single mom, including the social stigma and the implications for their own dreams and desires in life. These girls should not be looked upon as whores but rather as heroes! What Single Mothers Give Up Young single mothers have to grow up quickly. They may have been fooling around and carefree when they fell pregnant, but they have to face the reality of a completely different life for the sake of their child.   1. They Give Up Fun! Most young mothers have to make the decision to give up fun, not being able to go out with their friends partying and relaxing. They may have their child minded occasionally, but the overall carefree lifestyle of youth has passed away for them.   2. They Give Up Their Dreams Most young girls have dreams for the future, and most of ...

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What are Three Areas a Single Parent Struggles With?

What are Three Areas a Single Parent Struggles With?

As a single parent struggles with bringing up your children are inevitable. You face the same difficulties that other families are confronted with, but you also face a unique set of circumstances because you are doing the job alone! You have no one to share the struggles with as a single, but you also have no one to fight with about how you parent your children. Here are three of the unique struggles that parents face when they are single, and a few ideas on how to deal with them.   1. Applying Discipline: Disciplining your children is one area you may find difficult, but it’s one of the single parent struggles that you cannot afford to lose! We have a lot of material on our website regarding disciplining children, and the simplest and most effective methods that can positively impact your kids for years. One of the biggest issue for single parents is consistency, because they are often the only ones applying the discipline. It is normal to get tired and to struggle with consistency, especially if your children are strong-willed, but the best advice I can give is to stand back, view the situation without emotion, and consistently apply the right discipline.   2. Lack of Money: Lack of money is a common struggle for many single parent families. Not only have you lost the income of your former partner, but you have to find a way to work or bring in income by yourself. Many single parents are holding down several job is to try and come up with the money necessary to allow the family to function properly. Many fall victim to “make money quick” schemes because they are so desperate for money. While there is no easy solution to this problem, you may need to ...

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What are the Advantages and Disadvantages of Single Parent Families?

What are the Advantages and Disadvantages of Single Parent Families?

With so many families today parented by single moms or dads, what are the advantages and disadvantages single parent families, and how can we make them better? Single parents often worry that their children will somehow be damaged from living in a single parent family. While a single parent family may not be the ideal situation for raising children, many two-parent families are also less than desirable. Kids can actually benefit from living in a single parent family, so here are a few of the advantages and disadvantages of living in a sole parent family. Disadvantages of Single Parent Families Some of the key disadvantages of single parent families include… 1. Time: Many aspects of parenting are far better if two of you were doing them, and things which are timing-based like trips to and from school, after-school sport and recreation things like dance classes or karate are much harder to do as a sole parent than in conjunction with another. 2. Discipline: Many children are experts at wearing you down, so discipline is often more difficult because the complaints and protests of your children are unrelenting. 3. Working: If you are working yourself, it is often more difficult to do without some sort of support, especially as you try and work your job situation into your children’s schooling or day-care. 4. Relationships: Starting a new relationship or dating can be difficult for single moms and dads, with the need for children to be minded and the concern about how the children will bond with the prospective partner.   Advantages of Single Parent Families 1. Discipline Discipline should be easier with two adults, but the reality is that it is often easier with only one especially if the other one fails to agree with the type of discipline involved. 2. ...

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The Trials of Single Parent Fathers

The Trials of Single Parent Fathers

Single parent fathers are under a different type of pressure to the average father. Instead of being able to share the load of parenting, single parent fathers often have to stand alone, and frequently they are in conflict with the estranged mother of the children. Most fathers have to work to earn income and support their families. If a father’s single, coordinating work time and time with the children is often a more difficult task than for a married man, because when they have the kids there is often no one to help them share responsibilities. Yet many single dads find that they get to spend better quality time with their children, perhaps because they have limited time available and they have decided to make the most of it. Many dads take real delight in prioritizing their family time, and if they are wise they will realize that their time with their children has to take precedence over work and other social activities. There are several difficulties faced by fathers who are Ron their own. In addition to 2 limited opportunities and time with their children, they often have a rocky or difficult relationship with the mother of the kids, and all that this entails for parenting. As the kids grow older, they learn to exploit the differences in conflict that occurs between the estranged parents, playing mom off against dad to get their own way. Add to this the fact that a father parenting on their own also has to balance in a work schedule and some sort of a social life, and you really can begin to understand the unique difficulties faced by single parent fathers. This situation is made even more difficult if the guy has decided to start dating again, because many times their children will ...

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Christmas and the Single Parent

Christmas and the Single Parent

Christmas can be a joy is time for a single parent, but it can also be a time of loneliness and regret. If you are coming off a recent breakup, you can look back at your year with regret and honest relationship. Christmas is traditionally a time for family, and when your family has been torn apart it can be a painful experience. However it doesn’t have to be, because there are many things even as a single parent that you can draw from Christmas that will bring joy, peace and great satisfaction.   How to Enjoy Your Christmas as a Single Parent If you have young children, Christmas is always a magical time. As a single parent, you have the opportunity to share this magical time on a close, one on one relationship with your child or children. This can begin when you start decorating the tree several weeks before Christmas, and continues right up to Christmas Day, when you’re young children can get up early and begin opening presents. The night before Christmas can be made very special, and if you do not have a partner in your relationship you can experience the joys of “being Santa Claus”. In my family, the children leave milk and cookies out for Santa, and when we get up the next morning they will find the cookies gone and the milk drunk. Kids love presents, and the prospect of Christmas will always begin early if they get the chance. Sleep in any other day but Christmas is a day for getting up early and watching the children open their presents. If you are lucky enough to have family present, such as your parents or aunts or uncles, make sure everyone is up for the opening of the presents. Next comes the Christmas ...

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Coping with Children and Divorce

Coping with Children and Divorce

In a perfect world children and divorce would never be linked together. But we do not live in a perfect world, and with so many marriage and family breakdowns and single parent families out there, very often children and divorce are wrapped up together, to the detriment of both the parent and the child. We would like to think that every marriage was made in heaven and never needs help, but the fact is people change, relationships change and unfortunately divorce is the by-product of this. If you have experienced this you will know the emotional trauma and drama that separation can bring, but this can be magnified when it comes to kids. Bringing the Best Out of Parents, Children and Divorce! It is possible to bring the best out of both the parent and the child through a marriage separation, but it often takes both parents working extra hard to make this happen. The most important thing is that, despite how nasty or difficult the separation may be, that both parties continue to communicate with each other effectively and civilly, especially with regards anything that concerns the kids. Communication is the key! You need to communicate with your ex-about important matters like how to discipline your children, when to discipline them and the rules of the family. It is no good if they are punished for something in one family while in the other it is completely overlooked all laughed off. It is also important with how you relate to your children. You need to sit and talk to them about the family situation and the divorce, alerting them to what to expect, what visitation rights will be involved and continually reiterating that it is not their fault. The kids need to know that the breakdown in the relationship ...

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Struggles with Single Parent Families and Shared Custody

Struggles with Single Parent Families and Shared Custody

There are many struggles with single parent families which are unique, especially if the estranged mom or dad is still in the picture! Having two parents in a family gives them the opportunity to share the load and the burden together, and when things get too much you have the opportunity to sit and talk with someone who understands your situation. For single moms or dads this is not the case. Key Struggles with Single Parent Families and Shared Custody   One of the key problems has to do with shared custody, because sometimes your ex-partner is not going to share the same values and concerns that you have. In many cases, the kids are used as a pawn in an elaborate family game where parents try to use each child to attack their former partner. This is common behavior but it is very unfair on the kids and also on the adults. If you are parenting your family and want to do a great job despite the separation, here are some key struggles with single parent families and shared custody that you need to consider… Different values It is common in shared custody that each of the parents have different values when it comes to bringing up the family. One might be stronger on discipline while the other is very lax, or one might prefer junk food where the other insists on eating healthy.  Financial differences can also be a source of friction. These differences can take a happy family and cause them to turn on each other, and the pressure is greater if you are estranged.  The best advice is to sit with your ex-partner, decide to help one another in the family and talk each family problem through, so that even if you don’t get on well ...

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Children and Divorce: A Top Ten Survival Guide

Children and Divorce: A Top Ten Survival Guide

Children and Divorce are a potent mix.  The pain that you go through during your divorce is reflected and sometimes amplified for your children.  Most often they have no idea of exactly what has gone wrong in the relationship, and frequently they blame themselves for the resulting divorce.   So how can you love your children and divorce their mom or dad at the same time?  The fact is, relationships break down from time to time and children suffer as much as adults, especially if they have a good relationship with the ex.   All through the divorce you will experience pain, and so will the children, but our Top Ten survival guide can help both you and the kids survive this difficult time…   Children and Divorce: Our Top Ten Survival Guide… 1. Assure them the Divorce is Not Their Fault! They are your children and divorce is not their fault.  Explain that it is a decision that mom and dad have made, and although it affects them, it is not their fault, and there is nothing they can do directly to repair the relationship.  What’s done is done, and you all have to do the best you can dealing with the fallout! 2. Maintain Routine Routine is a friend to your children, so as much as you can keep them in a familiar routine.  There will be times you have to vary it, especially when trying to fit visitation in, but make sure they are able to continue in what they see as important in their lives, even after school things like football or dance classes. 3. Careful What you Say As tempting as it is to speak badly of your ex, you need to stop doing this.  Always speak kindly of them, because throwing mud is ground ...

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10 Scary Facts about Single Teenage Mothers!

10 Scary Facts about Single Teenage Mothers!

Single teenage mothers face a difficult time bringing up their children, but they can make it.  When many of us see single teenage mothers we think that they are too young and too irresponsible to be mothers, but in thinking these things we do them a disservice. Here are 10 facts about Single Teenage Mothers You Should Know About Before your Criticize Them! 1. Any teen who is sexually active and fails to use contraception has a 90% chance of falling pregnant within 12 months. 2. 3 in 10 American girls will fall pregnant before the age of 20.  The reason, they are all playing the game of teenage sex. 3. Nearly 25% of single teenage mothers have a second child within 2 years of the birth of their first child. 4. The rates of African American and Hispanic teenagers giving birth is two and a half times that for white girls. 5. From 1990 to 2008, the rate of reported pregnancies among teenagers fell by 42%. 6. 8 out of 10 teenager dads do not marry the mother of their child. 7. Having a baby is the number one reason why single teenage mothers drop out of school.  In fact, more than half of teenage moms do not graduate high school. 8. Fewer than 2% of teenage moms will ever earn a college degree. 9. More than 50% of teenagers have never stopped to think about how having a baby would change their lives. 10. 100% of single teenage mothers need our support to make it   Teenagers experimenting with sex is common on the movies, TV shows and in popular music.  Many do this without contraception, or do it in response to peer pressure.  OK, they might have made mistakes, but then again who hasn’t?  As Jesus once ...

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Top Ten Tips on How to Parent after a Breakup

Top Ten Tips on How to Parent after a Breakup

If you have children and have experienced a break up you may be wondering how to parent after the event.  Breakups are frequently messy and emotional affairs, and it is often hard to be there for your kids in their hour of need, especially when you are hurting so badly yourself. Learning how to parent through a breakup can soften the blow of the separation for your children, and surprisingly even for yourself. So here’s out Top Ten of coping with your breakup, and how to parent your children through it! 1. Speak to Each Child Individually While you can talk to all of them together, put some special time aside for each one individually. 2. Take into Account their Ages Obviously younger children will have less of an understanding of what a breakup is about compared to teenagers.  Try to convey the truth of what has happening in the simplest way possible, and ensure they understand. 3. Let the Know the Breakup is Not Their Fault Kids naturally blame themselves for a breakdown in the family and wonder what they could have done to prevent it.  Make sure they understand that this is between you and your ex, and they may have had a bearing on your decision, but certainly were not the root cause of the breakup. 4. Tell Them they are Unconditionally Loved by Both Parents Children need to know that they are unconditionally loved, no matter what they do, what they say and no matter what the state of the relationship between the parents.  Convey that your love for them and your partner’s love for them is not dependent on the parental relationship, and although clearly this will affect the way the parent child relationship works, it does not change how much they are loved. 5. ...

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