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Tag Archives: Top Ten

Top Ten Ways of Facing Parenting Issues with Children

Top Ten Ways of Facing Parenting Issues with Children

If you are facing parenting issues with children you probably need to stop, take a good look at yourself and how you manage the children, and see if you are making wise decisions.   Hindsight is always 20/20 vision and this is especially true for parenting issues with children.  It is easier to look back on a situation with your kids and know exactly what you should have said and should not have said, but in the heat of the moment parenting becomes a much more difficult issue!   If you are facing parenting issues with your children, think about these ideas…   1. Talk to Them Make sure you keep lines of communication open.  Talking to your kids can make all the difference, especially when explaining the reasons for disciplining them.   2. Be Strong When you make a parenting decision, don’t be easily swayed by complaints from your child.  If you make a decision, consult them but in the long run your decision should stand.   3. Big Them Up Make sure you speak positive words to your children, especially in front of others.  Never complain about them to others in their presence because it is embarrassing and will build resentment to your parenting.   4. Be Fair In all parenting issues with children you need to be perceived as fair, not unreasonable or petty.   5. Make Consequences Just Make sure that the consequences for disobedience are just and in proportion to the offence.  Consequences should also alight with the offence, so staying out after curfew for example is best deal with by grounding for a week rather than the removal of another privilege.   6. Be Consistent The biggest issue parenting children is in the area of consistency.  You need to follow through every single time, ...

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Children and Divorce: A Top Ten Survival Guide

Children and Divorce: A Top Ten Survival Guide

Children and Divorce are a potent mix.  The pain that you go through during your divorce is reflected and sometimes amplified for your children.  Most often they have no idea of exactly what has gone wrong in the relationship, and frequently they blame themselves for the resulting divorce.   So how can you love your children and divorce their mom or dad at the same time?  The fact is, relationships break down from time to time and children suffer as much as adults, especially if they have a good relationship with the ex.   All through the divorce you will experience pain, and so will the children, but our Top Ten survival guide can help both you and the kids survive this difficult time…   Children and Divorce: Our Top Ten Survival Guide… 1. Assure them the Divorce is Not Their Fault! They are your children and divorce is not their fault.  Explain that it is a decision that mom and dad have made, and although it affects them, it is not their fault, and there is nothing they can do directly to repair the relationship.  What’s done is done, and you all have to do the best you can dealing with the fallout! 2. Maintain Routine Routine is a friend to your children, so as much as you can keep them in a familiar routine.  There will be times you have to vary it, especially when trying to fit visitation in, but make sure they are able to continue in what they see as important in their lives, even after school things like football or dance classes. 3. Careful What you Say As tempting as it is to speak badly of your ex, you need to stop doing this.  Always speak kindly of them, because throwing mud is ground ...

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Top Ten Ways Single Parent Families Can be Fun

Top Ten Ways Single Parent Families Can be Fun

Single parent families are common these days, but often they are more difficult to manage than two parent families, especially after separation, and especially if the separation has been a nasty one.   Many single parents unwittingly use their children as pawns in a tug-or-war between the two parents, and this causes a lot of friction not only between the adults, but also among the children.  Often the relationship between family members is tense and trust is reduced because of this, but it does not have to be this way.   Single Parent Families can be fun, and here’s our Top Ten Ways to Achieve This…   1. Don’t Attack your Ex Attacking your ex actually hurts your children, so try to speak well of the ex-partner as much as you can.  If they speak ill of you, then try to refrain from telling your kids horrible things about the ex, because over time they will figure out who is the honest one and who is throwing mud! 2. Make Time for your Children Spending time with them at whatever is important to them is the ultimate act of love that they will understand. Make time to spend with them, even if it costs you time and money, because it says “I love you and you are important to me!” 3. Be Slow to Start Dating Again Dating after a break up is tricky enough, let alone if children are involved.  Your children feel isolated and threatened by another person coming on the scene, especially if they have kids too.  Be slow to start dating again, and make wise decision with regards who is coming into your life, and your children’s lives! 4. Do Something Crazy! Why be the boring parent?  Your single parent family should be a place of ...

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What Does it Mean to be a Good Parent? 10 Practical Things to Do!

What Does it Mean to be a Good Parent? 10 Practical Things to Do!

I want to be a good parent, and I’m sure you do too, but what does this actually mean?  Looking around in a public place you will see many people who are examples of bad parenting, so like you I know what I don’t want it to look like, but I also recognize that there is far more to being a good parent than simply having a well behaved child in public.   Here’s 10 Practical things you can do to become a Good Parent… 1. Be Consistent. This is one of the biggest things in becoming a good parent… consistency!  Whatever you promise a child as a consequence of their actions, always follow through with it, whether a reward or something they do not like.  Don’t modify the consequences to avoid a fight or make your life more comfortable or easier. 2. Screaming is Losing!  That’s right, if you reach a point of screaming, yelling or any other display of anger, you lose… immediately!  You lose your child’s respect, and the ability to positively influence your child.  Discipline should be applied without emotion, and without fear, because the consequences must be established before the offence is committed.  Then if they do the act, the consequences happen, it’s that simple! 3. Listen to your Kids.  You can ask questions of your child and their behaviour, but you also need to listen.  They often don’t need a lecture from you, especially if they know they have messed up, but you are far better asking why they did something, then listening to their answer.  Turn the TV off, close the lap top, put the magazine down and give your child your undivided attention.  They will love the fact you prioritized them over whatever you were doing, and you will learn about them ...

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How to Parenting Ideas that Work!

How to Parenting Ideas that Work!

There is lots of parenting advice on the internet, but learning how to parenting ideas, ones that you can really use in your situation, is much harder to find.  Facts, figures and opinions abound, but actually finding “how to” information becomes a more difficult prospect. My Top Ten How to Parenting Ideas Here is ten of the best how to parenting ideas I have found… 1. Take the Emotion out of Disciplining When our kids disobey we get angry and this is the worst thing we can do.  A screaming match is a bad way to parent, so one of the best how to parenting ideas is to take the emotion out of the situation, and logically lay out the consequences, without yelling. 2. Make Your Rules Simple Kids need rules, but they need rules that are easy to understand and simple to follow.  Choose your battles, meaning you choose important rules to be harder on and learn to let some of the little things slide by without comment. 3. Make your Rules Clear One of the first excuses you will hear from your child is that they did not understand what they did.  Make your rules clear, and tell them before they transgress.  It is not good coming on heavy afterwards if they have misunderstood, so get it right the first time. 4. Make the Rules and their Consequences Consistent Consistency is the key for how to parenting ideas that work.  You cannot overlook a rule one day and expect to enforce it the next, so make clear rules and stick to the consequences, even if enforcing them is awkward for you. 5. Make Consequences Proportional Kids often have a sense of justice, so they need to feel that the penalties you set are not only fair, but also ...

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Top Ten Bad Parenting Habits to Avoid (Part 3)

Top Ten Bad Parenting Habits to Avoid (Part 3)

Here is the conclusion of your series on Bad Parenting It has been a fun, tongue in cheek look at bad parenting, but you can learn a lot from looking at how NOT to parent your child.  If you missed the previous installments, click here to Start at the first article. 8. The Screaming Match Bad parenting most often results in a screaming match. For both parent and child, frustration and stress on the relationship are often expressed by emotions, and the most common emotion is yelling. Screaming at your child, standing over them or poking your finger at them is rude, demeaning and closes communication with them. It lowers their respect for you and even if you scream but they fall silent, damage is being done which can last a lifetime. Emotions are part of living in a family, and if you’ve had a particularly stressful day it’s not uncommon to feel like you want to scream. However, if you lose your temper you lose the plot, so take a breath, count to 10 and walk away until you are in control of your emotions. Once you are calm enough, sit with your child and discuss the issue, focusing on them not on the problem. Allow them to express their emotions, but take a break if they are getting worked up. If you can calmly express the reasons for your decision without it becoming a screaming match then you have achieved a major victory. Remember, the words you say cannot be retrieved, so take time aside to think and speak rationally and carefully to your child. 9. Criticizing Your Child Experts tell us that criticism and verbal abuse can, like physical abuse, have a slow and negative affect on the development of children. In older kids it can cause ...

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Parenting for Dummies: A Not-So-Dumb Top Ten

Parenting for Dummies: A Not-So-Dumb Top Ten

Parenting for dummies is probably a bit condescending as a title, but the purpose of this article is to strip away the mystique of being a parent.  In its purest form, parenting should be pretty straight forward, but the truth is that, in the heat of the battle with our kids, it becomes almost overwhelming! Hence the term, “for dummies”.  I want to strip away the smoke and mirrors and get back to the basics of how you can be a great parent, in a way that anyone, including a first time novice, should be able to apply. So here is our not-so-dumb Top Ten of Parenting for Dummies (and also smart people like you!) 1. Set Limits Parenting starts with setting sensible limits, and attaching sensible consequences to them.  Boundaries should be put in place and this will be dependent on the age of the children.  Pick your battles, and don’t put rules in place for things that are trivial, save it for the important ones.  So have a rule in place for staying out beyond curfew, but avoid making a Federal Case of the child not brushing their teeth. 2. Set Consequences Consequences need to make sense and be proportional.  For example a perfect consequence for staying out late would be grounding the child. Don’t set a consequence that just frustrates the child, or that is perceived as unfair or inappropriate, such as spanking a child for hitting another child.  Do not threaten consequences you will not or cannot keep to, so avoid saying things like, “If you do that again I will kill you!” 3. Follow Through If you set a consequence, follow through every single time, or you will consider yourself a real dummy in the long run!  Even if you don’t want to, even if ...

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Top Ten Parenting Solutions for Working Moms and Dads

Top Ten Parenting Solutions for Working Moms and Dads

If you are single and working, you need to think about parenting solutions, especially if you are a full time worker.  Modern society can be very insular, but what is still true in the 21st Century is that a child is raised by a village, not an individual, and this is especially true for the single mom or dad who is working.   Our Top Ten Parenting Solutions can give you Insight and Ideas!   Here is our Top Ten of Parenting Solutions for working moms and dads, and hopefully this will help you to take control of the parenting situation.  This also colors how you see your work environment, and while all of these are not applicable to all workplaces, you may have to change your job situation for the benefit of your family.   1. Seek Help from Your Family or Friends A single parent must not be an island, so look at your immediate family and friends and see if there is anyone you can trust who can share the load of caring for the children. Can you coordinate times with your mom, or with a close friend who knows and loves your children? 2. Share the Load Pooling resources is a common and one of the most very effective parenting solutions.  If you know other single parents who are working, then you can pool your resources and coordinate times and jobs so that sometimes you mind their kids, and other times they mind yours.  It is a mutual exchange of child minding services, but again you need to be able to trust them. 3. Try to Obtain Flexible Hours at Work Many jobs can be made flexible, and if you are a good worker your employers will be inclined to do all they can to help ...

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Parenting for Teenagers in the 21st Century: Top Ten Tips

Parenting for Teenagers in the 21st Century: Top Ten Tips

When thinking about parenting for teenagers the thoughts can become terrifying.  Teenagers often seem so difficult to parent, and many of the things you might have learned with younger kids seem to lose their power when it comes to parenting for teenagers.   So for all you worried moms and dads, here’s our Top Ten Tips about Parenting for Teenagers in the 21st Century.   1. Develop Trust both Ways Trust is a 2 way street, and if you expect your teen to be true to your trust, you need to make sure you are trustworthy also.   Don’t promise them things you do not deliver, like a weekend away or a new game. 2. Teach them about Money Managing money is something teenagers need to learn (as do we all!). Teach them early about the value of money, and delayed gratification, and teach them to save.  Also, teach them to budget, even on a small allowance.  These principles will never leave them if you do it correctly.  As well, let them experience the cost of the latest fashions and technologies, don’t just buy things for them.  They will soon learn that chasing fashion is expensive! 3. Accept that Communication is Technology Parenting for teenagers involves coming to grips with the way they communicate, and these days this means learning some technology.  Many teens won’t talk to you directly, or will do so very reluctantly, but what they will do is text or Facebook, so start texting them to have them share openly with you. 4. Monitor Technology Kids love technology, and hand held devices are so common now, as is social media.  However, you need to make sure that you keep an eye on their social media involvement.  Who are they meeting online, and for what purpose?  Might take a ...

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Top Ten Tips on How to Parent after a Breakup

Top Ten Tips on How to Parent after a Breakup

If you have children and have experienced a break up you may be wondering how to parent after the event.  Breakups are frequently messy and emotional affairs, and it is often hard to be there for your kids in their hour of need, especially when you are hurting so badly yourself. Learning how to parent through a breakup can soften the blow of the separation for your children, and surprisingly even for yourself. So here’s out Top Ten of coping with your breakup, and how to parent your children through it! 1. Speak to Each Child Individually While you can talk to all of them together, put some special time aside for each one individually. 2. Take into Account their Ages Obviously younger children will have less of an understanding of what a breakup is about compared to teenagers.  Try to convey the truth of what has happening in the simplest way possible, and ensure they understand. 3. Let the Know the Breakup is Not Their Fault Kids naturally blame themselves for a breakdown in the family and wonder what they could have done to prevent it.  Make sure they understand that this is between you and your ex, and they may have had a bearing on your decision, but certainly were not the root cause of the breakup. 4. Tell Them they are Unconditionally Loved by Both Parents Children need to know that they are unconditionally loved, no matter what they do, what they say and no matter what the state of the relationship between the parents.  Convey that your love for them and your partner’s love for them is not dependent on the parental relationship, and although clearly this will affect the way the parent child relationship works, it does not change how much they are loved. 5. ...

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