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Tag Archives: unconditional love

Top Ten Ways of Facing Parenting Issues with Children

Top Ten Ways of Facing Parenting Issues with Children

If you are facing parenting issues with children you probably need to stop, take a good look at yourself and how you manage the children, and see if you are making wise decisions.   Hindsight is always 20/20 vision and this is especially true for parenting issues with children.  It is easier to look back on a situation with your kids and know exactly what you should have said and should not have said, but in the heat of the moment parenting becomes a much more difficult issue!   If you are facing parenting issues with your children, think about these ideas…   1. Talk to Them Make sure you keep lines of communication open.  Talking to your kids can make all the difference, especially when explaining the reasons for disciplining them.   2. Be Strong When you make a parenting decision, don’t be easily swayed by complaints from your child.  If you make a decision, consult them but in the long run your decision should stand.   3. Big Them Up Make sure you speak positive words to your children, especially in front of others.  Never complain about them to others in their presence because it is embarrassing and will build resentment to your parenting.   4. Be Fair In all parenting issues with children you need to be perceived as fair, not unreasonable or petty.   5. Make Consequences Just Make sure that the consequences for disobedience are just and in proportion to the offence.  Consequences should also alight with the offence, so staying out after curfew for example is best deal with by grounding for a week rather than the removal of another privilege.   6. Be Consistent The biggest issue parenting children is in the area of consistency.  You need to follow through every single time, ...

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Top Ten Bad Parenting Habits to Avoid (Part 3)

Top Ten Bad Parenting Habits to Avoid (Part 3)

Here is the conclusion of your series on Bad Parenting It has been a fun, tongue in cheek look at bad parenting, but you can learn a lot from looking at how NOT to parent your child.  If you missed the previous installments, click here to Start at the first article. 8. The Screaming Match Bad parenting most often results in a screaming match. For both parent and child, frustration and stress on the relationship are often expressed by emotions, and the most common emotion is yelling. Screaming at your child, standing over them or poking your finger at them is rude, demeaning and closes communication with them. It lowers their respect for you and even if you scream but they fall silent, damage is being done which can last a lifetime. Emotions are part of living in a family, and if you’ve had a particularly stressful day it’s not uncommon to feel like you want to scream. However, if you lose your temper you lose the plot, so take a breath, count to 10 and walk away until you are in control of your emotions. Once you are calm enough, sit with your child and discuss the issue, focusing on them not on the problem. Allow them to express their emotions, but take a break if they are getting worked up. If you can calmly express the reasons for your decision without it becoming a screaming match then you have achieved a major victory. Remember, the words you say cannot be retrieved, so take time aside to think and speak rationally and carefully to your child. 9. Criticizing Your Child Experts tell us that criticism and verbal abuse can, like physical abuse, have a slow and negative affect on the development of children. In older kids it can cause ...

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Top Ten Parenting Solutions for Working Moms and Dads

Top Ten Parenting Solutions for Working Moms and Dads

If you are single and working, you need to think about parenting solutions, especially if you are a full time worker.  Modern society can be very insular, but what is still true in the 21st Century is that a child is raised by a village, not an individual, and this is especially true for the single mom or dad who is working.   Our Top Ten Parenting Solutions can give you Insight and Ideas!   Here is our Top Ten of Parenting Solutions for working moms and dads, and hopefully this will help you to take control of the parenting situation.  This also colors how you see your work environment, and while all of these are not applicable to all workplaces, you may have to change your job situation for the benefit of your family.   1. Seek Help from Your Family or Friends A single parent must not be an island, so look at your immediate family and friends and see if there is anyone you can trust who can share the load of caring for the children. Can you coordinate times with your mom, or with a close friend who knows and loves your children? 2. Share the Load Pooling resources is a common and one of the most very effective parenting solutions.  If you know other single parents who are working, then you can pool your resources and coordinate times and jobs so that sometimes you mind their kids, and other times they mind yours.  It is a mutual exchange of child minding services, but again you need to be able to trust them. 3. Try to Obtain Flexible Hours at Work Many jobs can be made flexible, and if you are a good worker your employers will be inclined to do all they can to help ...

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Parenting for Teenagers in the 21st Century: Top Ten Tips

Parenting for Teenagers in the 21st Century: Top Ten Tips

When thinking about parenting for teenagers the thoughts can become terrifying.  Teenagers often seem so difficult to parent, and many of the things you might have learned with younger kids seem to lose their power when it comes to parenting for teenagers.   So for all you worried moms and dads, here’s our Top Ten Tips about Parenting for Teenagers in the 21st Century.   1. Develop Trust both Ways Trust is a 2 way street, and if you expect your teen to be true to your trust, you need to make sure you are trustworthy also.   Don’t promise them things you do not deliver, like a weekend away or a new game. 2. Teach them about Money Managing money is something teenagers need to learn (as do we all!). Teach them early about the value of money, and delayed gratification, and teach them to save.  Also, teach them to budget, even on a small allowance.  These principles will never leave them if you do it correctly.  As well, let them experience the cost of the latest fashions and technologies, don’t just buy things for them.  They will soon learn that chasing fashion is expensive! 3. Accept that Communication is Technology Parenting for teenagers involves coming to grips with the way they communicate, and these days this means learning some technology.  Many teens won’t talk to you directly, or will do so very reluctantly, but what they will do is text or Facebook, so start texting them to have them share openly with you. 4. Monitor Technology Kids love technology, and hand held devices are so common now, as is social media.  However, you need to make sure that you keep an eye on their social media involvement.  Who are they meeting online, and for what purpose?  Might take a ...

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Parenting Teenagers for Positive Results as a Single Parent

Parenting Teenagers for Positive Results as a Single Parent

Parenting teenagers for positive results is not as difficult as it sounds.  Staying positive when talking to or even disciplining your teenager can maintain an atmosphere of positiveness in the relationship, and this is a sense the child will take with them as they grow and develop.   As a single parent, your job will probably be more difficult, especially if you are experiencing problems from your ex-partner.  If they set out to undermine your authority with your teen at every opportunity, then you have a far more difficult situation, but still not an impossible one.   Parenting Teenagers Takes Real Commitment   If you are parenting your teen, it is going to take some real commitment on your part.  It is not enough to start setting boundaries and consequences for breaking them, only to give up and quit after a few weeks, or days.  You need to set fair and sensible boundaries, and lay out the consequences of disobedience, making sure that your teenager understands the reasoning behind them.   Then you have to stick to them like glue!   This once again is hard if they visit the ex and have no boundaries in place.  You get to feel that you are the bad cop, and they are the good one.  That you get all the tantrums and anger, but the ex gets to have all the fun.  So how can you overcome this situation and still stay sane and maintain your integrity?   The answer is to stay positive, even when you are disciplining your teen.  The easiest way to do this is to sit down with the child and lay out what the boundaries are, what the consequences they will experience if they transgress.  Do it in consultation with them, so that they know your reasoning ...

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Funny Parenting Advice- The Top Ten Laws of Parenting

Funny Parenting Advice- The Top Ten Laws of Parenting

I have lots of funny parenting advice, mainly because I am a funny parent!  I mean, life is funny, and parenting, for all its difficulties, stresses and dramas, is also funny, especially if you step back and have a good hard look at it. So that has given rise to the Top Ten Laws of Funny Parenting Advice! They might be funny, but you will also find that they are true for most families! If you are a stressed out single parent, or overworked working mom, grab a cup of coffee, grab a few minutes alone and enjoy some sensible yet funny parenting advice.  Quick, while you can before the kids wake up! In any group of children, if one child is going to behave badly, it will always be yours.  If several are going to act out, yours will always be among them. If there is a choice between a cheap item and an expensive one, your kid will always want the more expensive one.  In fact, they will often want two of them. The longer you spend cooking for your child, the less they will like the result.  This is a scientific fact, and ranges from hours spent preparing healthy food (which they hate) to party pies, which are ready in minutes (which they love).  The ultimate expression of this is fast food, and we all know how much kids love that! The later you stay up, the earlier your child will get up the next morning.  This especially applies to single parents who have been out on a date the night before. The messier the food, the greater then chance it will finish up on the carpet.  Similarly, the more expensive the carpet, the greater then chance it will finish there, and the less likely you will ...

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Top Ten Positive Parenting Skills for the Single Parent

Top Ten Positive Parenting Skills for the Single Parent

The power of positive parenting skills is the power of being able to influence the life of your child for good, and for ever.  It believes that, despite the challenges of parenting, the journey can be fun and fulfilling, and that you can discipline your children in loving and positive ways. It is the ability as a single parent to fulfill both mom and dad roles, and to influence your children to help them become successful, happy and well-adjusted adults one day.   The Difficulty of Positive Parenting Skills for the Single Parent   As a single parent, one of the great difficulties you face in applying positive parenting skills is the lack of consistency, especially if the children visit with your ex.  You have little control over what they teach, how they teach them or the standards they apply to them.   You also have little or no control over the way they speak to the children.  If your ex is miserable or depressed, they may be tearing the kids down every other weekend, while you are madly trying to be positive and speak uplifting words to them.   This makes the task of parenting more difficult but not impossible.  But if this is the case with your ex-partner, you must remain positive and loving for your children as they grow and develop.  Here are some suggestions on how you can develop your own positive parenting skills to harness the power for your single parent family.  1. Get Support Don’t try to do everything on your own!  Gather close family or friends, or reach out to a support group.  If you cannot find these, pay for childcare or after school care, but get some sort of support to help share the time demands and emotional load. 1. Talk to ...

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Disciplining Teenagers as a Single without Driving Them Away: Top Ten!

Disciplining Teenagers as a Single without Driving Them Away: Top Ten!

Disciplining teenagers can be a nightmare, and can drive a huge wedge between the parents and kids. This is especially true for single parents, who often find themselves in a bidding war with their ex, each side spending more and disciplining less in an attempt to win the teenager’s affections. Why Disciplining Teenagers is Important Some people will tell you that once your child hits their teens you have really lost the opportunity to effectively discipline them.  This is simply not true, but you do have to modify the way in which you set about disciplining them.  The methods that work for a 5 year old or even a 10 year old tend not to work as well once your child hits their teens! So here’s our Top Ten Tips on how you can discipline teenagers effectively… 1. Make Your Rules Simple Disciplining teenagers needs to be kept simple, and your rules must make sense to them.  Choose important rules and learn to let some of the little things slide by without comment from you. 2. Make your Rules Clear Teens tend to have an overdeveloped sense of what is fair, and what is not.  If you keep your rules clear, and tell them before they transgress, then it will be a lot smoother sailing. If your ex constantly undermines them at their house, make sure they teen understands that your home is different. 3. Make the Consequences Proportional Teens need to feel that the consequences are not only fair, but also are in proportion to the disobedience.  I tend to be harder on defiance and rebellion than if they forget and stay out too late, or leave their room untidy.  Sometimes even a troublesome ex can understand and start to apply sensible, proportional rules, and then you have a ...

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Single Moms: Top Ten Keys to Success in the 21st Century

Single Moms: Top Ten Keys to Success in the 21st Century

Single moms can make it as parents and they can produce healthy, happy, successful children.  It is not easy being both parents for your kids, but it is possible especially when you apply these 10 Keys to success for single moms in the 21st Century.   1. Seek Support Most single moms find that they have to seek support, and there is no shame in doing this.  It might be close family, it might be close friends, or it might be a church group or single moms support group.  Whatever it takes, find and use some form of support. 2. Seek Help It is not enough to seek support, or a shoulder to cry on when things get tough, you need to also seek help.  Someone to mind the kids so you can have a break, or someone to drive them to football practice.  Don’t try and do everything by yourself. 3. Love your Kids I know you feel that you love them, but true love is not just a feeling it is a life-long commitment.  Tell them you love them, and also show them you love them by putting their needs before yours, and giving up what you want to serve them.  Yes, this includes dating and your choice of partner.  Let your kids be the hub of your existence, especially when they are young. Love is not just a feeling, it is what you say and how you treat them, so give your children unconditional love! 4. Avoid the Separation Tug-of-War Divorce is horrible, even if it is amicable.  Your children will feel that somehow they caused this.  There is an inevitable tug-of-war between the estranged couples, and only you can change this.  Don’t try and out buy your ex-partner’s attempts to win their love.  Believe me, the ...

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Top Ten Techniques for Parenting Difficult Teenagers

Top Ten Techniques for Parenting Difficult Teenagers

Parenting difficult teenagers is always a challenge.  Part of the challenge is that you are starting late in the piece, and it can be a bit like trying to score a winning touchdown or goal in the last 30 seconds of a game!   Although parenting any teenager will try your patience and sometimes break your heart, the rewards are worth it.  The joy of watching a child grow out of the teenage years into a successful and much loved adult is worth any price, so here are some tips for how you can parent your teenagers, even if they are being difficult!  1. Give them Clear Rules Paradoxically rules allow us freedom.  As a general rule, teens with no boundaries set will be more destructive and actually more miserable!  Set fair and reasonable rules, and make sure the teen knows the consequences of breaking those rules before they do anything.  You cannot come in after the fact and inflict a punishment, because teens have a strong sense of what’s fair and that simple isn’t!  2. Make Sensible Rules When parenting any teenager, you need to pick your battles, so make sure your rules are sensible and fair.  Don’t make a Federal case over whether they eat their sprouts!  Choose more important things like when they get home and how they speak to people. 3. Set Reasonable Consequences For teenagers you need to match the consequences with the action, and deprivation of things they want is better than corporal punishment.  You can’t ground them for coming home after midnight and for not making their bed one day.  Save the big penalties for the big disobedience, and I would always recommend punishing open defiance and rebellion more than forgetfulness or miscalculation. 4. Be Consistent In any type of discipline, consistency is ...

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