Parenting teenagers for positive results is not as difficult as it sounds. Staying positive when talking to or even disciplining your teenager can maintain an atmosphere of positiveness in the relationship, and this is a sense the child will take with them as they grow and develop.
As a single parent, your job will probably be more difficult, especially if you are experiencing problems from your ex-partner. If they set out to undermine your authority with your teen at every opportunity, then you have a far more difficult situation, but still not an impossible one.
Parenting Teenagers Takes Real Commitment
If you are parenting your teen, it is going to take some real commitment on your part. It is not enough to start setting boundaries and consequences for breaking them, only to give up and quit after a few weeks, or days. You need to set fair and sensible boundaries, and lay out the consequences of disobedience, making sure that your teenager understands the reasoning behind them.
Then you have to stick to them like glue!
This once again is hard if they visit the ex and have no boundaries in place. You get to feel that you are the bad cop, and they are the good one. That you get all the tantrums and anger, but the ex gets to have all the fun. So how can you overcome this situation and still stay sane and maintain your integrity?
The answer is to stay positive, even when you are disciplining your teen. The easiest way to do this is to sit down with the child and lay out what the boundaries are, what the consequences they will experience if they transgress. Do it in consultation with them, so that they know your reasoning and why you have set these limits.
Then when the sharp end of discipline comes along, you can step back and take all the emotion out of it. You can tell them you love them, and want the nest for them, but you have agreed on the rules and the penalties, so they have to face up to the consequences.
This keeps the atmosphere very positive, and takes all the emotion and heat out of disciplining your teen. The results will be positive.
And if at the time they begin to argue and fight, don’t enter into it at all. Again, the emotions are cast aside, and the consequences have previously been agreed upon and understood. If they argue that your ex lets them do it, again there is no argument at all. Whatever your ex does, it was agreed upon, it was understood, the consequences stand.
In this way, even as a single, you can parent your teenagers, even if they are rebelling, and get a positive result. It is a real possibility and something you should aim for!