It is critical that every family has a good parent-child relationship. But having this relationship involves way more than just being liked by your kids… You ought to be like a teabag, where hot water brings your true color out.
Single mothers and dads produce some classic mistakes in this area, but if you are serious and avoid these pitfalls you could have a good parent-child relationship.
1. Hoping to Be Their Friend
Relating well to your child and staying close to them is brilliant! Having them trust you and share their personal hopes and dreams can also be great. But you must remember, your children need you being a parent not as a friend. They need to admire and respect you, and while you may still relate to them it can’t be as just a friend.
If your youngster decides to spend time with their friends as opposed to you, don’t be hurt. Forcing your friendship on them in the company of their friends won’t be productive. Instead, be trustworthy, close to them and love them, or to put it differently, be a mom or dad not just a friend.
2. Manipulating Them
Singles as a rule especially single mothers are extremely prone to manipulating their children. In a healthy relationship, if you want to have them to do something you simply need to ask truthfully and openly, not manipulate them or use a guilt trip to have the children obey you. You may feel like the process works, but in the grand scheme of things it will return to haunt you and may ruin your entire relationship with your children.
3. Providing Far too much Freedom
A good relationship between a parent and a child needs rules, and these rules will have to be enforced consistently with appropriate outcomes. Giving too much freedom to your child isn’t a way of demonstrating that you care for them, it’s a way of giving them a license to destroy their lives! If you truly love them, you will set clear rules in place and ensure that they’re followed. Giving in to your child’s demands is like asking a drug addict to safeguard a pharmacy.
4. Being Harsh When it Comes to the Minor points
Single parent families, like every other family, will face times of conflict which potentially damage parent-child relationships. Many things are said in anger and regretted later, but you cannot take them back once they have been said! You need to pick your battles, being strong on big issues like sexual behavior and curfews, letting little things like eating vegetables or watching TV slide by.
5. Showing Conditional Love
Giving unconditional love is amongst the greatest things you can offer children. Conditional love is one of the huge killers of relationship, particularly in a single parent home where you might be “in competition” with the Ex for their affections. However, unconditional love can cover a multitude of sins. The child should be told that you just love them no matter what they do and no matter what they say. So if they’re good and obedient, you love them. If they are naughty, insubordinate, rude or self-centered, you love them just the same… Unconditionally! You might punish them, but you also need to tell them you love them!
If you can avoid these five mistakes you will have an incredible opportunity to build a good parent-child relationship that will last a lifetime.